the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
