I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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