She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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