you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
