It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
