the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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