His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Randomize
