also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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