have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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