farters have to be the big spoon...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
