party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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