So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
