Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her vagine was all disorganized.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
