I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
