You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
