I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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