my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
