Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
