and my herpes radar will keep us safe
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Randomize
