the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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