im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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