I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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