38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
