Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
