whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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