there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
