did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
