i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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