Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
