you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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