He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
