nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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