we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found your dick twin last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just pee around me
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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