well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
