I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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