when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
