mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
