Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
