If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
