so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
