i barfeds in our rink
im about as happy as oj after his trial
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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