YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
