well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I need to sanitize my soul.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
