It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
