Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Someone came in the potted fern
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
