I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
