Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
