yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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