oh god the rape fog is back!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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