I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
