I just cut my nipple shaving
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
