drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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